silence xxx

march 8th 2012

21.42

wendyhouse

and then there was silence...

cant write ,
several nights...
the silence of my mind,
rings in my ears...
but still.
cant write...

love makes you endure what others wont..


laying awake,
crying as i wake...

i rather sit in silence
keep everything inside


scared of the things that will happen...
but cant quite know where to turn


i am so lost,but.still i want to be found


what does one do when you are in two minds?


tried not to write...
and still.

couldnt get into anything to do on my computer...
for a couple of hours entertaining myself to do another..

watched the story of the Highlands
that is where my Darling was born...


and how beautiful everything is with all the colors,the ruggedness
that came into shape in all forms ...


evertyhing is alive,
the reindeers,
the glaciers,
the faults...

the mountains
the people
the villages...

it is another world
breath taking
ancient and beautiful

now,watching catholic women
being shown on television,
i smile,as i am raised a catholic girl...
ofcourse,if you are not one,you wont understand
how it is to be one ...

brings me back to my childhood...
and as a grown up,specially now there are still things that make up
my whole person,i know,
i know its because i am one...

infact i am not ashamed to be one..
it is me,a part of me


even as i lay crying,i know that someone is watching...
listening,weeping with me...
i question Him,why does this have to happen to me?

but,theres only silence.

thats because He knows,
the answers are with me...

it brings me now to write here again..
for some reason,i just couldnt do another thing
i cant get into anything on my computer
except ...
here.


i am afraid,that i cant bring myself to say
what is inside,
and so i weep for all the things i cant speak of..

i am lost,i feel i cant find my way...

love will find me..
love will seek me...

and i hope on the day...
the silence will be broken and i will say
what i feel,
and start to mend everything

and will make things ok ...


when will i finally be able to say ...?


"je suys vostre sans de partier"